Recently I watched a BBC TV programme, 'Homes Under the Hammer'. The experiences of buyers of properties sold at auctions, are followed. Homes sold 'under the hammer' are usually in need of significant renovation but the outcomes can be very profitable. For each of the experiences followed, the programme presenters compare the purchase price plus the subsequent renovation costs, with estimates of the resale value and rental income. In the programme that I watched, there were two homes sold under the hammer that, in my view, demonstrated the strong link between the attitudes of the buyers and the qualities of their overall experiences.
A couple bought a mid-terrace property in the Greater London area, which was a bit of a wreck with a very dated interior and some nasty damp areas. The couple, who both had full time jobs, were very positive about their purchase and the male partner said that what really turned him on was solving problems. At the end of their project, they were both very enthusiastic about what they had achieved, a very desirable property that should give them a healthy profit if they sold it on, which was their intention, or a good income should they decide to pursue the rental market. They had completed their project within their budget and although they had exceeded their anticipated timescale, that was because they hadn't let the renovation work take over their lives by ensuring they allocated adequate time to their day-jobs, family commitments and holidays. They thoroughly enjoyed their first experience of property renovation and were psyched up to take on another similar challenge.
On the same programme another guy had purchased a shabby ground-floor flat but with lots of space and potential, also in the Greater London area and he was intending to renovate it with a view to making it his home. It was his first experience of renovation work and whilst he was in full time employment, he felt he had sufficient time on his hands to undertake quite a bit of the building work himself. At the end of the project he had exceeded his budget but had achieved a very acceptable outcome with a good profit potential should he sell, or a healthy income if he rented the property. But wasn't the property going to become his home? Possibly not now! He hadn't enjoyed the experience and said that only completing the job brought a smile to his face. The problems en route to completion had totally frustrated him and whilst he liked the finished result, he had missed his friends and saw the location of his potential new home as yet another problem. He certainly did not intend to take on any more similar projects.
These two experiences both ended in successful financial outcomes but there were, as I have described, very different personal experiences for the participants. In my opinion, the enjoyment for the couple renovating the terraced house versus the frustration for the guy renovating the ground-floor flat, demonstrates the link between problem-solving attitudes and feel-good (or feel-bad) factors. I am reminded of the following quote from the Dalai Lama XIV (the present incumbent):
"If a problem is fixable, if a solution is such that you can do something about it, then there is no need to worry. If it's not fixable, then there is no help in worrying. There is no benefit in worrying whatsoever."
So life is full of problems but the Dalai Lama's advice is sound, whether or not there's a solution, worrying is an ineffective and potentially destructive use of personal energy. In the Mediterranean coastal region of Turkey where I live, two commonly-heard phrases are "sorun değil" and "problem yok", which mean "it's not a problem" and "there isn't a problem". When you are in need of assistance, seeking guidance or apologising for confusion caused by, for example, language difficulties, it's very comforting to be told "sorun değil" or "problem yok". Those statements immediately guide you towards a solution rather than a problem.
When we worry about situations we are using our imagination to create something we don't want. Now how stupid is that?! Yet we do it all the time!! We get ourselves totally frustrated over situations that are unlikely to arise. Now it's easy for me to pontificate on what we should or shouldn't do but how do we think differently? What is the solution to that problem?! Our brains are 'hard wired', through years of experience, to react to circumstances in predetermined ways and old habits die hard. In my opinion, when we feel periods of frustration or anxiety coming on, we should pause for thought, look for solutions rather than problems as well as diverting our mental energy away from imagining outcomes that might never happen.
Maybe it's easier said than done but whatever, it's really not a problem!
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