My father provided me with various words of wisdom throughout my youth, most of which I forgot. But one snippet has been retained in my memory and for some reason has preyed on my mind in recent years. I was about thirteen years of age when he told me life was about choices. Yes, that's it, LIFE IS ABOUT CHOICES. I think at the time I was given this pearl of wisdom, he was trying to encourage me to take my studies more seriously, stressing the desirability of a strong academic foundation "if you want to get on in life" - his words not mine. Well his guidance sort of worked although my father's advice was competing against all manner of extracurricular activities that tempt fun-loving teenagers away from academic life. I was well into my twenties before I started giving any serious thought to my aspirations and through my thirties, forties and beyond, my life seemed to have been driven by opportunities rather than definitive pre-determined plans. Yet throughout life I suppose my father's advice has influenced my behaviour and particularly when faced with making decisions where there is no obvious choice. As an example, I have never been an impulse buyer. If I buy something it is because I think I need it, although very often the purchase is driven by want rather than need. Also I usually spend considerable time and effort looking at all the possible options. When I finally take the plunge, I feel I have made the right decision.
Clearly there are many choices that have to be made in life and my analytical approach for simple purchases is often not appropriate for other important decisions. In fact I am conscious of the fact that my decision-making process can lead to paralysis by analysis. As I look back on my life, I often think of my father's words in the context of why I am where I am, doing what I am doing with my current network of family, friends and acquaintances. Was I destined to be where I am, going where I am going, and am I master of that destiny?
Let's start with where I am. There has been a myriad of choices and decisions that have been responsible for my life's journey so far and there have been many critical decisions, which, if I had taken alternative routes, would have probably led me to a considerably different destination - the choices of careers, employers and partners, are good examples of 'life changers' for all of us. So my father was right that choices influence, or even control, direction and therefore our judgements are crucial to our destinies. But there are many other factors outside our own sphere of influence that are also influential. As an example, I will return to my father's life and in particular, his final day.
For as long as I can remember, my mother and father had enjoyed a sherry and 'nibbles' before their evening meal, the ritual spanned my father's working life and retirement. On the final day of my father's life, my parents discovered that the store of nibbles, salty biscuits and nuts, was empty, so my father walked to the local Tesco to buy replenishments. On his walk to the store he was run over by a vehicle and killed - another road traffic accident statistic. He was approaching his eighty fifth birthday and had lived a good and healthy life but whilst he chose to walk to the shop, chose the route to the shop, I very much doubt he chose to be run over. Likewise, I doubt the driver of the vehicle chose to run him over. It was an accident, an unplanned event.
Life is full of unplanned events, many of which are not of man's making such as the recent meteorite strike in Russia, when thankfully nobody was killed, but imagine the possible catastrophe if it had landed in Moscow. Life is also riddled with unintended consequences many being emergent properties of the complex system environment within which we live. I recently watched an extremely thought-provoking TED lecture given by James B. Glattfelder. The title of his talk was 'Who Controls the World?'. If you're interested, take a look at www.ted.com. Mr Glattfelder is part of a team that has been researching financial ownership networks. He presented the results of an analysis of 43,000 Transnational Corporations (TNCs), which arrived at a staggering conclusion that 80% of the TNC value was owned by around 0.1% of the shareholders. But what is also amazing is the fact that the 'inner core' of the ownership is an emergent property of a highly complex system, rather than any form of conspiracy theory. The self-organising outcome stems from interactions of highly complex and chaotic human-based dynamic systems.
Extending this model to our own personal experiences, there are many emergent properties of our life journeys that are just going to happen whether we like it or not. So returning to our destiny, can we be master of it. If mastery is control or supremacy, then I fail to understand how anyone can claim to be master of their destiny. On the other hand, the choices that we make strongly influence where we are and where we are going. Yes dad, life is about choices and thanks for that guidance, but just as wrong choices might mean things will go wrong, the right choices will not guarantee things will go right - life's a bitch!
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